Tuesday, September 4, 2012

I don't have it all together

Is authenticity worth what it costs to attain? This question keeps rattling around in my mind. Living authentically is not cheap.  Living authentically is not easy.  So I continue to ask myself is authenticity worth the cost?

Authenticity goes against the flesh and against what society says to be true
From the very beginning of time, human kind, left to their natural bent, hid. " Then the Lord God called to the man, and said to him, ' Where are you?'  He (Adam) said, ' I heard the sound of you in the garden and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.'"  Genesis 3:9-10 emphasis added

I am struck by the question, "Where are you?"  This is the place from which I must begin. 

I find my true self lost.  Lost in all of the trappings that swirl around me.  Stuff both good and bad, but blinding none the less. I try to walk on my own and I become so entangled that I fall.

I need to slow down. I need to spend time with the One who crafted my very being, and allow him to strip away all that is not who He created me to be.  This is scary.  To be quiet and listen, to learn who I am truly am, this takes courage.  

It seems much easier to do as Adam and Eve, and hide.  Hide who I am.  Hide what I really feel.  Hide what is really going on.  Hide the fact that I am a mess and that as much as I strive to look like I have it all together, I don't.

But living in hiding has a cost too.  Living in hiding forces us to live in isolation.  We buy into the lies that everyone else has it all together.  That no one could possibly understand how we feel.  We are the only one who struggles with _____________. (you fill in the blank) So we put on a fake smile and put our best foot forward.

But, maybe instead of putting our best foot forward we need to put out our real feet.  You know, the ones that have chipped toenail polish and callouses.  What would the world look like if we decided to be real?

What would my world look like if I decided to listen to who God says that I am, instead of who the world says I should be?  What if I decided to stop wearing the fake smile and hiding, and instead let others into my real life? What would your world look like if you decided to do the same?

What if ...


  1. So I was immediately drawn in by the photo (because my feet are the usual runner's mess, all calloused and bashed up toenails and I don't want to wear sandals, because I need to hide my feet!) And it's parallel to the way I try to hide the mess that I am sometimes inside. You are so right - we need to slow down, but it is scary. What will God say?

    We spent five minutes in silence last Sunday in church. Complete silence. To let God speak. And He spoke to me - and pointed out a couple of things I need to change. It wasn't in condemnation; it was in loving truth.

    May the Lord's face shine upon you on this "joyfully slow" journey, Anne. He is so pleased with you. I hope you know that.

  2. I love you just the way you are! Words to think about! Take care.